This photo displays the only thing I can do at the moment: keep myself together. I wanted the light to be tiny and compact, almost as if there was no room to move. I used the black couch in my living room as a background and the light coming from my living room window as a spotlight. The depth of field is small, and I adjusted the exposure, so my eyes are just slightly visible under the shadow of my bangs. I wanted to display how small I feel, how tired I am. I adjusted the exposure so you could not see the background, and I was the only subject in view. I tried to fill the photo’s frame while keeping my hands in sight, because the rings mean a lot to me.
The whole story that only my friends know is that I struggle every day with emotional regulation and suicidal thoughts. Each of the rings I wear is from individuals who impacted my life in tremendous ways. I wear the rings every day, and only my friends know that about them. I hold on to every experience I have had, positive or negative, because I know I will forget in about four years, with my memory loss. That is why the light is so tiny; I feel very isolated and alone in my life because I cannot remember the people who surround me.